Popularity in Five Easy Steps

It’s everywhere you look.  On television. On the internet.  On the covers of books.  Everywhere our society reinforces expectations of how you should look, how you should dress, how you should spend your free time and money.  We should be slender.  We should be fit.  We should climb mountains wearing brand name apparel that accentuates our hard won figures.  We should train for and run marathons while keeping a spotless home, coaching our children's soccer team, eating only organic and whole foods, and being the star performer at our jobs.  We should own a nicely landscaped three-bedroom ranch in a wealthy suburb or a renovated condominium in a trendy downtown oasis.  We should take our families on vacations to the Caribbean and Europe and proudly display glistening photos of sunny escapades on social media sites.  We should have it all.  And, everywhere there are products promising to help us attain everything we desire in a few simple steps.

None of these things are bad, but some of us are so caught up in chasing a carefully marketed “life” that we forget to be present in our lives.  We forget to question the motivation of our actions.  We forget to ask why we need to share that snapshot of ourselves wearing the latest running shoes breaking through the finish line.  We forget to ask ourselves what is truly important.  I believe this happens to most people at some point, and maybe multiple points, in their lives.  My life has been no exception.

What we need to do is stop for a moment, and consider that no matter what possessions you have, no matter how many exciting vacation pictures you post, no matter how many medals you win at work or on the field, you will not be fulfilled if you are chasing social acceptance and prestige.  If you are chasing the approval of people around you, then you are sprinting towards an ever-moving finish line.  Here is a quote that resonated with me recently, and I wish I had been in the frame of mind to absorb this truth ten years ago:

“I’m aware of the fact that some people will not like you, not because of something you have done to them, but they just won’t like you.  I’m quite aware of that.  Some people aren’t going to like the way you walk; some people aren’t going to like the way you talk.  …  They’re going to dislike you, not because of something that you’ve done to them, but because of various jealous reactions and other reactions that are so prevalent in human nature.”  (From the sermon “Loving Your Enemies” in the book A Knock at Midnight:  Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.) 

So, rather than trying to please the society around you, ask yourself what you really value.  Ask yourself if you are writing the script of your life or if you are allowing it to be written by someone else.  Ask yourself how you would like to spend your life if you were not busy chasing the material manifestations of “success.”  Maybe true success is as simple and free as enjoying a walk and a conversation with your loved ones.  Maybe true success is more about communion with true friends, loved ones, and the world around you than consumption and display.